Take me down little Susie, take me down

Josh Hamilton of the MLB Texas Rangers, a former heroin addict and first round draft pick by the Tampa Bay Rays, just put chills down me spine. He stood at the plate as the last batter of the All Star Home Run Derby with 71 year old Clay Council( a volunteer who threw bp to a young Josh Hamilton) at the mound to throw pitches a 71 year old arm can throw.
Josh put 28 balls out of fabled Yankee Stadium. This is a Home Run Derby record. Cynics hint at methadone induced slugger power; Hamilton gives Jesus Christ His Savior as his tatted rippling forearm power, immaculate timing, and butter stroke. Regardless, the numbers speak like God to Moses. The Burning Bush by the numbers:

28 home runs.
445 feet average distance
518 feet longest distance
12,458 feet cumulative distance (2.359 miles)

the next best was 8 home runs...

He hit four home runs that nearly cleared those bleachers -- and one that bonked off the bottom of the distant Bank of America sign, 502 feet from where he was standing, sending 53,716 witnesses into complete apoplexy.

"He hit that sign," Rangers teammate Ian Kinsler said, "and that ball just disappeared. And it was like it was gone forever. I kept looking at that sign, and I was thinking, 'There's not a chance I could probably hit that thing from second base.'"

(editor's note: Hamilton did not win the HR Derby but who the Hades cares? He did however apply salve to the wounds of all recovering heroin addicts with dreams of big league comebacks)